The Artist's Way - Week 2
Week 2 of the 12-week course to build creativity
Last week, I began Week 1 of Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Way course to build creativity. If you purchased the book and are following along, I hope this past week was fruitful. To the rest of you, I invite you to join in and comment how the course is helping (or hindering) you in your lives!
The work of Week 1 centered on affirmation - in several aspects:
First, we affirmed that - as artists - we have thoughts that must be processed. We wrote Morning Pages in earnest to clear our minds of chatter that clouds creativity.
Second, we affirmed that - as artists - we must care for ourselves by resting regularly. We went on an Artist Date to recreate ourselves and inspire creativity.
Finally, we wrote literal affirmations to say to ourselves every time we - as artists - faltered in our pursuit of either 1 or 2.
With the work of Week 1, we created a habit around self-care. In fact, the primary benefit I found was that self-care seemed a bit easier. I discovered if I cared for myself, the other work I did went more smoothly - caring for myself was part of the work I do.
I convinced myself of the value the Artist’s Way course will give me. Week 2 turns the focus outward.
Last Week's Work
Last week, I extolled the virtues of writing in a journal. I even wrote an article about introspection and a few techniques that help me figure out what I think, because it isn’t as simple as just…thinking. We hide what we think, even from ourselves.
My tendency is to use a tool for a short period of time - usually until I feel better - then abandon it. When I begin to feel worse, even though I know I have tools that could help me, I choose not to use them. After all, I’m feeling too crummy to summon the effort.
However, I am rather proud to report I wrote Morning Pages every day last week. I admit I had one day in which I wrote Afternoon Pages, but every day, I sat down with my journal and wrote. The output from last week was less eye-opening than the week before. I am settling into the habit and writing mostly mundane thoughts. This is a good sign.
I did take my Artist Date. It was on my calendar, although I left late. When the time came, I figured it wasn’t important, because I was feeling down about myself. Ditching the Artist Date would be a perfect method to confirm I deserve to feel down.
But I pushed myself out the door to take a walk. The Universe asserted it knows what I need, which gave me the power to take that date. I went to a coffee shop and read Sailor Moon. It was just what I needed.
Finally, I did write affirmations. In the past, I found those cheezy. Last week, I gave them an honest go. They help. As dopey as I feel saying them, they do help. Now I have a few affirmations I use - typically once a day as I start to lose energy.
Overall, it was a good week on the Artist’s Way.
Recovering identity
Week 2 of The Artist’s Way course is titled “Recovering a Sense of Identity.” Already, this sounds great - I love identity! The message in this chapter is again blunt. There are people who help you postpone or repress your creativity. One of those people is you.
This chapter is summed up by the following quote:
As we gain strength, so will some of the attacks of self-doubt.
Cameron writes self-hate is often masked as self-doubt, which easily devolves into self-sabotage. We want to ignore our creativity. We are served by ignoring our creativity. When we ignore our creativity, we do not have to assume the risks of expressing it.
Although self-doubt is purely internal, there are others Cameron mentions who help us down the path to self-doubt.
Cursed are the crazymakers
Who consistently watches us begin to blossom and attempts to stifle our growth? Crazymakers. They use guilt to remind you they aren’t where you are in the process. Whatever the process may be, you show them their faults by succeeding where they are not.
Crazymakers sabotage our creativity by putting their story first as you tell yours. They ensure your achievements are dimmed in the dark light of their unfinished tasks.
Lest we believe we are innocent, Cameron writes we enable crazymakers…because we are crazymakers ourselves. If we prevent ourselves from succeeding, we need not worry about further success. We can crouch safely in our own blockage if we allow the crazy to bleed over us.
Cameron encourages us to reject other people’s view of our creativity. Being creative is who we are. She goes as far as to say we’re on the right track, baby! (NB: I added the “baby,” but she really did say the rest.)
Asserting identity
There is a parallel in asserting identity from my transgender experience, but I believe it will best be served as a separate article. The conclusion I draw, however, is that as we learn who we are, we can travel one of two paths.
One path is to allow the crazymakers to sow self-doubt, then allow the doubt to turn to sabotage. The result is predictable: we remain in the same place we were before, only with greater confirmation that we are not allowed to be who we are, we are not creative, and we never will be.
The alternate path is to push past the painful skepticism about our ability - no, our right - to be who we are and to be creative. We can and should be the person we know we are. We can and should be creative. We can and should love ourselves and show that we do.
I have written many times how poorly I receive praise - some of you have experienced it directly. As Cameron puts it, when the Universe gives me a gift - a compliment on who I am or what I did - I am ungracious enough to give the gift back.
The gift is a confirmation my identity is mine. The gift asserts my ability to be authentic and that my authenticity is what makes me worthy of praise. Finally, the gift shows us our path need not be a consistent struggle.
It is more difficult to remain blocked than to move forward.
By remaining blocked, we prevent ourselves from healing. We continue to apply bandages, salves, splints, casts, and finally outright denial and forfeit. Our lives are pits of despair with no hope of reprieve.
If we choose not to suppress ourselves, we overcome the initial discomfort - from our internal voice as well as external environment - to live fulfilling lives that continue to grow.
So what's next?
This week builds on last week - Morning Pages every day, an Artist Date at least once. Given the results I experienced thus far, I have no difficulty continuing. I am learning to care for myself by doing it. More to the point, it’s working.
The affirmations I told myself last week to push past my discomfort become more aggressive this week. Not only will I affirm to myself I deserve the life I’m building, I must show that to the crazymakers. When I am sabotaged, I will assert myself and continue on my path, not the path anybody else would choose for me.
Finally, I will notice the small victories. I will cherish the finished article, wonder at the beautiful sky, and revel in great art. These are the tiny spots of beauty that make life worth living. They paint color across a default grayscale existence.
This week, I will choose to live.
Until next week!